Mum to be
Can't wait to meet
the Mermaid swimming inside of me
In June of pearls she'll surface to life
with legs in the air she'll kick an scream
As a rainbow bright shall welcome her birth
as the storm subsides
with abundant Joy
i'll look into her eyes
I'll whisper her name
My daughter awakened at last.
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Monday, April 17, 2017
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Stress, choices and pain
During this kawaii but cruel period of pregnancy.
I have been doused with stress of a couple different levels.
For one: Mom not getting along with my baby's dad. She says that because he is engaged to another woman; coming to see me every once in a while, making sure I am doing OK, and am getting everything I need is wrong. That wanting to be apart of his daughters life and and being my friend is crossing the line. And that I am in the wrong for befriending his fiance and buying my daughter to be's, 1 year old, older brother a birthday gift. Their is many different ways to put sin behind you. But you can never erase it. Only can you hide it with Jesus' light. Forgiveness that is what we have done. If we were to move away from our past and forget about it. Like my mom did with my dad and their sin. I don't believe we'd learn from our mistakes to be able to teach our daughter not to do the same. For in the end I repeated my mother's sin because I was shown that she did not forgive but ran away, and learned that she wasn't able to learn from her own past the rights and wrongs of the world until it was to late. So it is now my turn to make the choices for my child, follow the plan my mother set for herself and failed or write my own path and see where it leads.
Second: I woke up this morning with what I found online was called "PPGP" which stands for pregnancy pelvic girdle pain, "Ouch," I can hardly stand, don't wanna walk, if I spread my legs at all a lightning bolt hits my soul. They say with this pain you can have a natural birth, so I just gotta bite a towel and scream my lungs out. It starts for about one in five pregnant woman in their third trimesters. Its nothing to go to the hospital for, just grit your teeth and bare it. But anyways I have Packed my hospital bag, already for many of my friends think I'll go into labor early like my mom. Its only April I tell them, don't jinx me, for this baby ain't due till the ending of June, till summer begins and flowers bloom.
29 weeks and 4 days, Pray I make it longer than this.
I have been doused with stress of a couple different levels.
For one: Mom not getting along with my baby's dad. She says that because he is engaged to another woman; coming to see me every once in a while, making sure I am doing OK, and am getting everything I need is wrong. That wanting to be apart of his daughters life and and being my friend is crossing the line. And that I am in the wrong for befriending his fiance and buying my daughter to be's, 1 year old, older brother a birthday gift. Their is many different ways to put sin behind you. But you can never erase it. Only can you hide it with Jesus' light. Forgiveness that is what we have done. If we were to move away from our past and forget about it. Like my mom did with my dad and their sin. I don't believe we'd learn from our mistakes to be able to teach our daughter not to do the same. For in the end I repeated my mother's sin because I was shown that she did not forgive but ran away, and learned that she wasn't able to learn from her own past the rights and wrongs of the world until it was to late. So it is now my turn to make the choices for my child, follow the plan my mother set for herself and failed or write my own path and see where it leads.
Second: I woke up this morning with what I found online was called "PPGP" which stands for pregnancy pelvic girdle pain, "Ouch," I can hardly stand, don't wanna walk, if I spread my legs at all a lightning bolt hits my soul. They say with this pain you can have a natural birth, so I just gotta bite a towel and scream my lungs out. It starts for about one in five pregnant woman in their third trimesters. Its nothing to go to the hospital for, just grit your teeth and bare it. But anyways I have Packed my hospital bag, already for many of my friends think I'll go into labor early like my mom. Its only April I tell them, don't jinx me, for this baby ain't due till the ending of June, till summer begins and flowers bloom.
29 weeks and 4 days, Pray I make it longer than this.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Keep calm I'm 28 weeks pregnant
As the days go by. I sit in silence, rarely amused by anything but my mother, drooling, asleep in the chair next to me. Hiccups and kicks rumbling in my stomach, as the baby inside begins her existence. This world is cruel, already she is experiencing the annoying repetition, and I get to feel every bit of it. But I must say it is cute to know that she can hiccup and that she is alive inside me.
I am at the beginning of my third trimester. Even tho I am now wearing humongous sized clothing I still try to look nice when I go out. In the back of my mind when I look at myself in the mirror I want to cry because I never new that I could ever weigh this much. To say in easy terms I weigh more than my mother and shes fat, I am pregnant so I have an excuse. But will the weight really disappear when I deliver because my mom was skinny once too and then she had me.
Acid, the kind that decays your enamel is also a cruel thing in this world. The dentist has told me that the baby is stealing my calcium and that the acidic food that I have eaten are the cause of my teeth decay. The whole right side top of my teeth are falling apart, disintegrating, and I cant just go and get them all cut out because I am pregnant they cant knock me out or give me the numbing or pain medicine because it could harm the baby so until the baby is born my teeth are going to continue to crumble.
Soft foods such as Debbiecakes, seaweed chips, spoonfuls of Nuttella, whipped cream, grapes, cucumbers, blueberry waffles, are the cravings of this pregnancy. I am anemic tho so I've gotta eat a lot of iron rich foods as well. Such as eggs, asparagus, seaweed etc and I am continuously eating ice like it has gone out of style.
Thats all I got to say for now, thanks for reading!
I am at the beginning of my third trimester. Even tho I am now wearing humongous sized clothing I still try to look nice when I go out. In the back of my mind when I look at myself in the mirror I want to cry because I never new that I could ever weigh this much. To say in easy terms I weigh more than my mother and shes fat, I am pregnant so I have an excuse. But will the weight really disappear when I deliver because my mom was skinny once too and then she had me.
Acid, the kind that decays your enamel is also a cruel thing in this world. The dentist has told me that the baby is stealing my calcium and that the acidic food that I have eaten are the cause of my teeth decay. The whole right side top of my teeth are falling apart, disintegrating, and I cant just go and get them all cut out because I am pregnant they cant knock me out or give me the numbing or pain medicine because it could harm the baby so until the baby is born my teeth are going to continue to crumble.
Soft foods such as Debbiecakes, seaweed chips, spoonfuls of Nuttella, whipped cream, grapes, cucumbers, blueberry waffles, are the cravings of this pregnancy. I am anemic tho so I've gotta eat a lot of iron rich foods as well. Such as eggs, asparagus, seaweed etc and I am continuously eating ice like it has gone out of style.
Thats all I got to say for now, thanks for reading!
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