Birth plan but reality

Birth plan checklist (reality)
Pre-labor:
 I'd like to go into labor naturally.
 I'd prefer my water to break on its own. (they broke my water)

Labor:
 I'd like to remain home as long as possible. (friend: get in the car your going to the hospital now)
 I'd like to wear my own clothing for as long as possible. ( strip your wear the ugly hospital thing deal with it.)
 I want to be able to get up and walk around. ( wires included)
Tip: shave down there at home or they'll do it for u
 I prefer not to have an IV during labor.  (they put one in your arm and then never use it)
 I'd like to be able to eat and drink during early labor. (snuck snacks all you get)
 I prefer intermittent instead of continuous fetal monitoring.  (continuouse ugh)
 I'd like to be allowed to push instinctively. ( yes but your doing it wrong now work them butt muscles)

Attendants: dad
 (Mom and girlfriend )

I would like to have the following available  for pain management during labor:
 Music
 Low lighting
 Massage therapy (beg )
shower (only afterbith wah wah)
 Medication (eek no)
 Epidural (hurts u gotta stay still may not numb u completely back labor still painful)

I would like to try:
 A birthing ball (fave)

I would like to try the following positions:
 Semireclining
 Side-lying position
 Squatting
 Hands and knees
 Whatever feels right
(reality u lie on bed legs up  very uncomfy)

My mom or friend would like to help:
 Clamp and cut the umbilical cord  (my mom was the only one given the option)

I would like to:
 Avoid a routine episiotomy (ouch)
 Use a mirror to watch my baby being born (they didnt have one tears)
 Hold the baby immediately after birth (beautiful)
 Breast-feed as soon as possible (during hold)

Postpartum:
 I'd like to stay in a private room.
 I'd like my baby to stay in the room with me.
 I'd like my baby with me  when I'm awake.
 I'd like my baby brought to me at feeding times.
 I'd like a cot for my mom or friend to stay with me.
 I'd like people to be able to visit me and the baby in the hospital (all good)

Feeding:
 I plan to breast-feed. (took a lil too get used to it but i feel closer to my child its something we can share on a personel level

I'd like to check out of the hospital:
 When it is considered safe for me and the baby to leave together